Faith to Doubt, Doubt to Faith
by TheRomanticEgotist
Summary: In the vampire world exists a rare creature, the Siren. Coveted and desired by all, the majority remain heavily protected by the Volturi. When a confused, young Siren stumbles upon the powerful coven, begging for death, she meets her mate, and her destiny. (Warnings: graphic violence, lemons, non-con, AU)
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** This is an AU, and a lot of questions might be created in the first few chapters. I fully intend to answer them all in future chapters! Be weary though, this story will feature scenes of graphic violence and will allude to non-consensual encounters (there will be no graphic detail of non-con, but it will be a major plot point).

**Prologue**

"Can I help you?"

I jumped at the voice, completely lost in a haze of momentary confusion. I was still getting used to my limited senses, as it had been months since I'd last fed. But still, I knew I should have at least _heard_ the approach.

I turned to face a man, one of my kind. His scent alone should have given him away. He immediately held his hands up, a sign that he wouldn't attack. I growled and slipped into a crouch, knowing better than to trust strange males. I wasn't afraid of death, of course. I'd come to Italy seeking it. I knew all too well what _other_ tortures males might inflict however. My death would _not _come at the hands of yet another male stealing whatever I had left of my dignity.

"Relax, young one. I am mated," he said in a softer voice, as if it meant a thing to me.

"Why didn't I hear you? Or smell you?" I asked, trying my best to quiet my growl. I didn't want to _incite_ an attack, but I refused to stand, wholly prepared for one.

"It's in my power," he said simply.

I swallowed back a mouthful of venom, trying to stifle my natural instinct to attack or run. It was quite an impressive power.

"You're Volturi." It wasn't a question. A powerful vampire in Italy could mean nothing else.

"I am," he said with a nod, lowering his hands slowly. The buttons in the cuffs of his dress shirt did indeed bear the Volturi insignia.

I stood from my crouch, lowering my head down just a bit.

"Take me to them. Please." I knew the slightly submissive stance would help me in the long run not only getting what I desired, but it may help ward off any vicious attacks. To my surprise, the male chuckled.

"I will take you to them, but you need not fear. As I told you, I am mated. I will not attack. I wouldn't lie about such things." Before I could ask why he kept saying that – that he was mated – he pulled out a cell phone and pressed down on a single key.

"Please inform Aro and the others that we have a visitor. Make sure he understands that she's a Siren." He turned back to me after snapping the phone closed and said, "Come this way."

Hesitantly, I followed him through a wrought iron gate at the end of the alley.

"What's a Siren?" I blurted out when I'd finally reached my curiosity's tolerance. He looked back at me, eyes wide.

"You don't know?"

I shook my head, entirely embarrassed. Yet another thing of my nature I didn't know of. Was it another thing James lied to me about? Did Jasper know and fail to tell me?

"Never mind," I said, waving a hand. I didn't care anymore. "It doesn't matter," I added on, desperate to change the subject before I could embarrass myself further.

"But... Isn't that why you're here? For protection?"

A dark, bitter laugh escaped me.

"I have nothing left to protect. I came here for death."

He stood completely still for a moment before slowly reaching out to take my hand. He held it between us, my hand sandwiched between his.

"My dear lady, what is your name?"

I quickly became more at ease with him, calmer. He bent his knees and bowed his head. No male had _ever_ taken a submissive stance before me. He looked up at me and despite his flaming red eyes, the way his light blonde hair brushed over his forehead made him look like the innocent young boy he might have been one day, before he was frozen eternally.

"Bella," I answered. He bent his head a bit more in a nod before bringing it up fully. His knees remained bent though, keeping him from towering over me.

"Bella, I can see by your scars-" he gestured to my neck, "-that you have suffered. I can't understand why your sire would have left you in such ignorance, but the Volturi hold Sirens in the highest respect. In these walls, you will never again face such tortures."

"I appreciate your attempt to prevent what you may believe to be a rash decision. But all the same, I'd like to plead my case to the elders."

"As you wish." Without another word, he led me down a tunnel and through a series of corridors.

"I'm curious," he said, breaking the silence. "You haven't asked my name."

"Please don't be offended. Making acquaintances is not my priority now, in the hour of my death." We reached a pair of giant, ornate doors with a gold filigree re-creation of Rodin's "Gates of Hell."

"Sweet girl, my name is Romeo. And if you live past the hour, perhaps my Juliet and I could tell you our _real_ story." With that, he pushed open the doors and we stepped into a great hall.


	2. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:** I am _blown_ away by the amount of favorites and follows the prologue received! Thank you all so much for your interest! We get a tad bit more info in this chapter regarding Bella's nature. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I'm really sorry to leave it on this note, but we get into a lot of _action_ in the next chapter, and I didn't want the first one to drag on forever.

**Chapter 01**

"Sweet girl, my name is Romeo. And if you live past the hour, perhaps my Juliet and I could tell you our _real_ story." With that, he pushed open the doors and we stepped into a great hall. It wasn't nearly as occupied as I imagined it to be when Carlisle first told me of the Volturi.

My attention was drawn immediately to the three men in the center, sat in their thrones. Before I could introduce myself, Romeo stepped in front of me, crouching as if ready to attack.

"What's he doing here?" he asked through clenched teeth. The man I knew to be Aro stood and waved a hand.

"I refuse to meet with a stranger without the Head of my Guard, Romeo," he said. "Besides, Edward has shown excellent restraint in the presence of Sirens."

I paid no mind to their conversation, choosing instead to search the room for Romeo's threat. I noticed in my inventory that every vampire around me had red eyes and the scent of blood still hung in the air. And then I saw _him_. His eyes were pitch black instead of crimson, but they burned just the same. He leaned forward ever so slightly, away from the line of guards he stood in, but he didn't appear threatening. I certainly didn't _feel_ afraid.

I'm not sure how long we stared at one another, but I snapped to awareness when Aro called my name.

"How do you know my name?" I asked, reluctant to turn away from the black-eyed vampire. The others watched me, weary and confused.

"Romeo has just told us all your name, Bella," Aro replied, his voice soft. "I think before we allow this visit to go further, you must feed." There was an odd tenderness in his voice, concern, something I'd only heard from two males in my lifetime. "We can see that you've gone much too long without nourishment."

"Thank you for that consideration," I said. I tried to maintain eye contact, but my gaze kept flickering back to the black-eyed male. His focus was now on my neck with a harsh expression, his brow drawn tight in his glare.

"That won't be necessary, though," I added on. I took in a deep and entirely unnecessary breath to calm myself. Through the haze of different scents, I focused on one in particular. It was sweet and musky all at once, and there was an odd yearning in me to find the source of it. I toyed with the breath, letting that scent roll over my tongue. When the last of it faded and I came back to my senses, I remembered that Aro was waiting on me to speak.

"Well! What is it?"

"Caius! Come now. Our guest is obviously in turmoil," Aro said, glancing at the blonde man to his left. He turned back to me and took pity on my poor attempt to voice my request and held out his hand. "Come," he said softly. "You needn't say it aloud."

My steps were unsure as I moved forward. I knew what power he held. Which was worse, begging for my death before so many witnesses, or allowing Aro to see every pathetic moment of my existence?

I took his hand quickly, before I could change my mind. Aro held my hand and closed his eyes. Several seconds later, his brow furrowed. A whole minute passed by before he opened his eyes and they were gleaming as he stared at our joined hands.

"Impossible," he whispered. The hall was silent until a clear voice rang out.

"I can't hear her either."

I spun around, _knowing_ it was the black-eyed vampire. He'd taken two steps forward when Aro held a hand up.

"Edward," he said carefully. "Do not come closer."

Edward halted immediately, but I could see his fingers twitching, stretching out.

"How interesting, Bella. Your mind is closed to us both. We must look into your shielding abilities later," he said, sounding positively overjoyed.

"Shield? What?" I shook my head. "I don't understand."

"Bella." Aro gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "You knew of my power, yes?" At his question, I nodded. "Edward is similarly gifted. He hears thoughts, without the physical contact I require. And yet, he hears nothing from you. I gathered no thoughts from you. I can see clearly that you're not lame. Surely you have thoughts?"

Thoroughly confused, I could only manage a nod. A light chuckling spread throughout the sparse crowd at the irony. I'd managed to completely miss my own introduction despite the powerful senses our kind possessed, and I was apparently ignorant of my own abilities. I'd hate to imagine the reactions of such experienced vampires when they discovered I didn't yet understand the Siren comments either.

"Enough," Aro said, quieting the hall immediately. "I must unfortunately ask then, Bella, what it is that brings you to us?"

"I come to ask a favor," I answered, my voice shaking only a bit.

"For a powerful, beautiful girl like you?" Aro smiled, leaning forward to kiss the knuckles of my hand before finally releasing it. "If it is in my power, it is yours."

"I'm grateful to hear that." I paused. "I come seeking a swift death."

Before anyone else could react, I heard Edward shout, "No!" There was a large scuffle, Romeo stepping forward to shove me behind him once again as two guards immediately took hold of Edward.

"No, no, _no_," he repeated. "Bella," he said urgently, his eyes wild. "I don't know who you are. I don't know where you came from but I _do_ know one thing. You _cannot_ die." He turned his attention to Aro.

"Please, don't allow this. Talk some sense into her. _Please_." He leaned forward and for a moment, it looked as if her were going to break loose.

The though didn't terrify me nearly as much as it should, given my history.

"Bella," Aro called out. "However dramatic his display, Edward does make a point. Why don't we retire to my study? We can discuss what's brought you to this desperation. If, after thinking through this clearly, you insist upon death..." He hesitated and I saw his eyes flicker to Edward. "If you still wish for death, then we shall do our best to insure you'll not be in pain," he finally said with a grimace. "Is that agreeable?"

I nodded at once, thankful that at least I wouldn't have to share my shame with the entire room.

"Very well." Aro turned to lead me away, but Edward called out again.

"Wait! She needs to feed first. She _must_ feed before her decision can be considered rational."

Aro assessed Edward's plea with a curious expression.

"Yes, Edward, another excellent point. While I help Bella to my study, you will acquire some fresh blood for our guest and deliver it to us. That is, if you can control yourself."

Edward nodded slowly. At the wave of Aro's hand, the guards released Edward's arms. He gave me one last, long look before blurring out of the room.

"So, Bella," Aro began as he led me further into the maze of yet even more corridors. Romeo followed quietly behind us. "Tell us about yourself."

"There's nothing to tell," I murmured. "Nothing in this life has given me hope that there's a point to going on."

"I see."

We came to another fancy door which Romeo stepped forward to open for Aro and myself.

"And what if we can provide you with such a hope here in Volterra?" Aro asked as we entered.

I couldn't help but laugh at the idea, but the sound was bitter and dark, even to my own ears.

"I was born with no mind. My body was stolen from me. And now my heart is gone. I have nothing." I turned my attention to the collection of books that surrounded me. "In my time, I've dealt with pain. Pain I can tolerate. But now I'm alone. This loneliness, this _nothingness_... It's crippling."

"Dear Bella, do you know I lived over a century before finding love?" Aro asked, though I knew it was rhetorical. He was trying to make a point, but I knew he didn't understand yet.

"I had a lover," I said. "He left me."

"He was destroyed? And you've survived?" Aro gasped.

"I wish," I said quietly, immediately regretting the words. I truly meant no ill will toward Jasper. "Mutual destruction would've been more tolerable. No, he left me for another."

"Impossible." Aro scoffed. I grew angry rather quickly but didn't get a chance to retort.

"That was fast. Impressive, Edward," Aro said as Edward entered the study. In one hand he held a goblet, in the other, a carafe. To a human, it might appear to be wine. I knew from the irresistible scent it was blood. Human blood, and still warm.

Edward kept his eyes on me as he poured the viscous liquid into the goblet. He held it toward me.

"Drink, please," he said when I remained motionless. He took a step forward and pressed the lip of the goblet to my mouth. Setting down the carafe, he slipped his other hand behind my neck, coaxing my head back. There was an odd, tingling sensation where our skin met, and it spread down my spine in seconds. I gasped and ended up with a mouth full of blood. It was so rich and sweet and with the taste on my tongue, I was past the point of resistance. I gulped so quickly I finished the glass in mere seconds.

"Good girl," he whispered, moving his hand away from me to refill the goblet. A desperate, impatient whine escaped my throat.

"Relax, beautiful," he said, bringing the glass back to my lips. "There's plenty more."

I was thankful that my mind was closed to him. I'd rather he think me desperate for the blood instead of his touch. We cycled through the actions twice more until the carafe was empty and I'd nearly licked the goblet clean.

"Shall I get some more?"

It was tempting. Having not allowed myself to feed in months and then indulging in human blood, I was suddenly ravenous. I opened my mouth to say yes, but I didn't want him to leave again.

"Ahem." Romeo pretended to clear his throat and I remembered, quite embarrassed, that Edward and I weren't alone.

"Perhaps I'll go and get our guest some more blood?" he offered.

"Splendid idea!" Aro said, clapping his hands together. "Now then, Bella. You said you had a lover, and he _left_ you?"

I tensed when I heard Edward's low growl. With his hand still at the back of my neck, I felt his fingers vibrate with the sound, but he didn't squeeze down as I expected. He felt my stiffness though, and even loosened his hold.

To answer Aro, I nodded, pressing my neck further into Edward's hand. From the corner of my eye, I saw the crooked smirk on his face and knew I wasn't nearly as surreptitious as I'd hoped. I couldn't help myself. That tingling sensation was quickly addicting me, spreading further and growing stronger with each second we touched. Perhaps I could ask him to hold my hand during my execution? Then I could at least die feeling something pleasant.

"Bella," Edward began, sounding careful. "Do you... Do you know what you are?"

I glanced between the two of them.

"A vampire?"

"You, my dear, are a Siren. A very rare female vampire. Only several of them have existed in our histories. Most have perished now, after losing their mates. The remaining live here in Volterra, under their mate's protection as well as ours." Aro paused as if there was more to say, but he stopped himself. "Any un-mated male who comes across a Siren is immediately drawn to her," he went on, and I had the strangest feeling he was changing subjects. "Often in violent ways," he added on. "That's why the hall was nearly deserted when you arrived. We sent those guards away."

"That's... I didn't know. No one's ever told me."

Aro nodded. "I don't wish to draw on bad memories, but may I ask, what happened to your neck?"

Edward's fingers moved gently over the scars.

"My sire, he told me- he _lied_ to me. He said as my sire he was to be my mate. I- I often disobeyed him and displeased him." I lifted a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug, ashamed of how easily I'd been manipulated and controlled. "It was my punishment."

Edward hissed while Aro shook his head, looking sad for me. "You said he lied to you. You knew that he wasn't your mate. Surely that isn't why you've come here. You didn't _choose_ him," he said, and the emphasis confused me.

"Well, of course I didn't. I'm an idiot, not a masochist."

Before Aro could reply, Edward chimed in.

"She doesn't _know_, Aro." He turned to me. "While males are immediately stricken with desire for Sirens, a Siren will only desire one male. Her mate," he clarified patiently for me. "Unfortunately, most Sirens outside of large covens aren't well protected and are often..." He closed his eyes tight, as if he felt pain in that moment. "They are often abused." He opened his eyes. "How did you manage to get away from him?"

I felt my stomach drop.

"Another male came upon us while- While I was being punished. He helped me get away. He saved me."

"And did you choose _him_ then?" Aro pressed on.

"Not at first. We were just friends. He helped me. He took me away from James and protected me. I knew... I knew that he desired me, though. It was the only way I could repay him," I admitted. "He told me he'd always love me and protect me, but then he... He said he'd met his real mate. She was part of a large, strange coven." I sighed. "They were very kind. They invited me to stay with them. They were nearly adamant that I remain with them. But they were all mated, including the only man I'd ever trusted and I couldn't bear to watch them all... So complete. So in love."

As I spoke, I felt a strange sensation building in my body. It was crying for something, but I didn't know what. I felt that if I asked, Aro and certainly Edward, would give me whatever I wanted. But I didn't _know_ what I wanted. I swallowed back venom, frustrated and trying to calm myself but I was growing nearly hysteric in seconds. I felt something on my cheek and wiped at it, shocked to find I was crying... Blood?

Aro looked from my finger to Edward. "Edward, move your hand," he commanded. Edward glared at him.

"She doesn't-" He cut himself off and I wondered briefly if Aro was speaking to him silently. A moment later, his hand drifted further down my neck, his fingers spreading out below the collar of my shirt. The tingling feeling spread out in warm currents, stirring a completely unfamiliar sensation in my belly. I nearly purred, closing my eyes. My cheeks grew wet with the stream of blood steadily dripping from my eyes like tears.

"Bella," Edward murmured. "The male who rescued you... Were you, I mean to say-"

"Did you desire him, Bella?" Aro asked impatiently.

I was lost, entirely gone from the conversation as the heat in my body grew stronger. Every inch of me was burning in a delicious way and I knew I should be embarrassed at the scent I was surely giving off.

Absently, I heard Edward swear. "This is private, Aro," he hissed.

"Bella, answer me!" Aro demanded. "The male who saved you, did you desire him?"

"Not like this," I whimpered, too lost in the sensations to give a damn what I gave away. I'd be dead soon. To hell with shame. "Never like this. What's happening to me?"

"Edward. Take her somewhere private," Aro said. Then everything stopped. I came back to the empty shell of my body.

"Please!" I cried out. _Put them back_, I thought. Edward's black eyes went impossibly wider.

"Follow me," he said hoarsely.

"Hold my hand," I begged. He turned back to face me, his eyes tortured.

"We are _both_ becoming slaves to our instincts right now. But too many others have lied to you before. I need you to understand things before we continue. I am _nothing_ like the previous men in your life, Bella. I will never hurt you, and I will _never_ take a thing from you."

I nodded slowly. "I know. I know you won't... Romeo said mated males won't do _that_," I whispered, unable to disguise the sudden longing I felt for the man in front of me.

I truly must be the whore Alice said I was.

There was a strange gleam in Edward's eyes when we he asked me to follow him again.

"Have you ever seen your own blood before today?" he asked as we walked.

"No. I didn't know we were capable of bleeding, to be honest," I replied immediately, trying my best to keep up with his pace, hoping at the very least that our hands might brush. I should have been worried at bleeding from my eyes but it had accompanied such a pleasant feeling that I was practically dying to feel it again.

"And, the things you were feeling moments ago... You've never felt them before?"

"No." I ducked my head, trying to hide my embarrassment. "It wasn't that strong at first," I admitted. We stopped and he reached to open another door, but he paused.

"The longer we remained in contact, the stronger it grew, right?" he asked.

I nodded, completely dumbfounded. Maybe my mind_ wasn't_ closed to him after all.

"When you first saw me, you stared for awhile," he noted.

"Well, you were staring at me too," I retorted, childishly.

"I was." He opened the door and gestured for me to enter. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. How could I look away?"

"But-"

"Were you frightened? Is that why you watched me?

"No."

"Were you frightened when I rushed toward you?" He closed the door quietly and turned to face me.

"No," I repeated. "I... I _wanted_ the guards to let you go."

"Bella, remember. I will never lie to you. The things that I tell you, there are histories of our kind that will tell you the same. There are Sirens here, in this very castle, that will attest to what I say now," he said, his voice pleading.

"Just tell me!" I said, growing impatient.

"When a Siren finds her mate, her _true_ mate, and chooses him... She will often offer him her blood," he said quickly.

"I... you mean..."

He hesitated. "Normally she will ask to be bitten, if she knows of her nature. But the reaction is uncontrollable." I watched his Adam's apple bob and wandered absently if he was swallowing back venom. "You weren't frightened of me when your instincts should naturally have put you on guard. You bled after being in contact with me. And... and you were giving off a mating scent." He whispered the last bit.

As my brain worked in overtime to process the information, I finally realized what I'd done. If everything these men told me was true, if I really was a Siren and had a _choice_, another shot at something aside from loneliness, or pain, or death...

_"For your protection, we sent those guards away."_ Aro's voice taunted me. Only mated guards could be in my presence without attacking me.

The tingling sensation. The blood. The desperation to have his hands on me. I'd chosen a mated male. I'd chosen a man that would never desire me.

I nearly stumbled with the sudden depression like it was a physical weight on my shoulders.

"What have I done?" I whispered. Atlas shrugged, and I fell to my knees.


	3. Chapter 02

**Author's Note:** I warned you guys, this is definitely rated M. Things get a little hot. And a little scary for Bella at times. I know considering the history she has that I've alluded to, some of you may find her reactions less than believable. But I need to stress, this is an AU and the special vampires I write rely a lot on instinct.

**Chapter 02**

I nearly stumbled with the sudden depression like it was a physical weight on my shoulders.

"What have I done?" I whispered. Atlas shrugged, and I fell to my knees.

"I'm so sorry," Edward said immediately. "It's mostly instinct, so it doesn't seem to be something we can stop. I won't push you, though. I promise. I don't want you to feel like this wasn't your choice.

"Of course it isn't!" I spat out. "I spent the first half of my life in hell, being starved and bitten and raped and told it was my duty to bear it! The rest of my time was spent forcing myself to warm the bed of a man who just tossed me aside! Why would I choose that again? Why would I... How could I be _so_ stupid?" I dug my fingers into my hair, digging my nails into my scalp.

"I came here for death. Instead, I'm told that there's still hope. I still have a shot at- at... And I choose a mated male." I looked up at him, eyes pleading.

"I know I can't ask of you what I apparently want. So give me one thing, _please_," I begged. "Go to Aro. Go to him and tell him I've earned the death I asked for. I deserve at least that."

Edward stared at me, the expression on his face completely horrified.

"Bella." He crouched down. "Remember. Please, come back to me. Just remember," he urged on. He seemed somehow aware of how deep into this pit of hell I was falling. "When you entered the hall and Romeo asked Aro why someone was there, he was talking about _me_. Don't you remember? Aro refuses to be seen without me because of my gift. None of us knew I would be useless. He said I had excellent restraint. Don't you remember?"

I nodded, still not entirely understanding.

"When Romeo called to tell us of your visit, he told Aro you were a Siren. He knew what you are. He was warning us to have only mated males present. He's seen what happens with a Siren in the presence of multiple competing males. He was angry when he saw me because I was _not_ mated, Bella."

"But." I paused, now thoroughly confused. "Then why did you say you wish it was something you could stop?"

He shook his head. "I didn't say that. I regret that it's more of an instinctual reaction, and that no one has told you that as a Siren, it would happen one day. Considering what you've... been through-" he choked on the words, not knowing how to describe my past, "-I don't want you to feel manipulated by me." He paused, reaching out as if to touch me but stopping at the last second.

"Bella, if I continue to touch you, that feeling is going to grow again. The more it affects you, the more it's going to affect _me_," he whispered fervently. "And we'll be drawn to each other and we'll end up mating and we'll become bonded. We will belong to each other and if one of us were to die, the other would as well."

"And... you're afraid that I'll still wish for death? Edward, I could never risk someone's life like that. I'd rather be miserable forever than be responsible for an innocent man's death."

"No, Bella. I'm not afraid of that. It wouldn't be possible. I know this is odd and different or at least it feels that way because we just met but... I already feel completely tied to you, Bella. There's something about you, it calms me. Your mind brings peace to me. And your beauty..." He shook his head. "I would give you anything you desired. I would cherish you. I would give you everything you need and protect you and adore you. If you choose me, I'll make sure you never even think of, let alone wish for death." He grinned, looking like a foolishly innocent boy. "I'll love you."

I was stunned, not knowing what to say. Not knowing if this was something real to believe. Not knowing if I could really trust him. "Haven't I already chosen you?" I asked hesitantly. "With the blood, and..."

He nodded slowly. "Yes, but..." He closed his eyes. "I don't want to tell you this. I would like to be selfish now and say that yes, you've chosen and we're now eternally tied to one another. But the truth is, we haven't bonded. And we won't be bonded until we mate. And that is your decision, Bella." He lowered his voice. "As an un-mated male, when you walked into that hall, I desired you, Bella. I wanted to consume you. I wanted you to be mine, in a very sick and sadistic way. That is, unfortunately, what any un-mated male's reaction is when faced with a Siren. But when you looked at me, I froze." He closed his eyes, as if he were re-imagining the scene.

"Your skin was too pale, nearly translucent, a sign you hadn't been feeding. Your eyes were black from thirst and despair and yet, they were so wide and innocent and just... Every single instinct in me that had been screaming, 'Take her!' was now screaming, 'Save her!' and I knew then that you were meant for me. And I do believe, with everything in me, that I was meant for you. And that's what I need you to understand." He opened his eyes.

"Whether you choose to bond with me or not, I will still be there trying to protect you. I will never force you. Do not feel obligated in any way to do anything you don't want to do, right now and in the future."

I let his words sink in.

"You'll give me anything I want?" I asked.

"Anything. I promise you."

"I want you to touch me," I whispered. I watched his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed back a mouthful of venom.

"Stand up, please," he asked, placing his hands gently on either side of my ribs. Through my shirt I didn't feel much, but there was a pleasant hum growing over my skin with just his proximity.

"You're sure?" he asked.

"You said anything. You promised." I sounded like a petulant child, but I didn't care.

"That I did, sweet girl." He grinned and lifted a hand, lazily twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. He let the stray curl loose and followed the spiral down to the tip where it hit my collarbone. His finger hovered for a moment and then he trailed the digit so slowly and lightly across my skin. Finally, he moved his hand up, sliding it behind my neck once again, the fingers burying in my hair. He placed his other hand against my face, cupping my cheek. The sudden intensity of having both of his hands on me at once made my eyelids flutter.

"Interesting reaction," he murmured, stepping in as close to me as he could manage. I felt a rush of dampness between my legs, the slippery venom making its way to my thighs. I opened my eyes in time to see him taking a deep breath. His nostrils flared and he let out a deep groan. He whispered my name and moved closer still, leaning toward me. His lips were so close, but still too far away. Impatiently, I pressed forward, not realizing in the haze of lust that I was too short. Edward seemed to come to the same conclusion. He let out a cool breath that fanned across my lips. I darted my tongue out eagerly, breathing in the intoxicating scent that had caught my attention earlier.

His hands moved swiftly down from neck to my shoulders, tracing down my arms and leaving a fire in their wake. They danced around my hips and slipped past my bottom. He bent his knees so his hands could move down my thighs where he stopped briefly before following that same path upwards. This time he stopped at my bottom and squeezed my flesh in his strong hands. He yanked me in close and stood swiftly, bringing me up with him. My body knew what to do before I could register the movement and my legs wrapped themselves around his waist. I gripped his shoulders to catch my balance, but I knew instinctively he wouldn't drop me.

I was now a few inches above him. I lifted a hand to brush the coppery hair off of his forehead before I leaned down and finally, _finally_, we were kissing.

His lips remained still against mine for too long. Impatiently I ran my tongue over his full bottom lip. Pulling back just enough, I watched as he darted his own tongue out, tracing the shimmering trail of venom I'd left behind. He took in a shuddering breath and then we were moving suddenly. But I didn't care where we went, as long as he kept touching me.

I was being lowered and I noted absently the feel of silk and downy feathers and then the full weight of his body was on me. He pressed against me while his arms slithered under me, his hands sliding up my shirt and splaying across my lower back, pulling me harder against him.

I made a desperate keening sound, a pleading, and I was shocked to find that I didn't care how pathetic I sounded. I was too lost in the sudden waves of ecstasy pulsing through my body to be embarrassed.

Seconds later when the shock of it all wore off, I came back to my senses to find us both somehow still fully clothed, and Edward hovering over me with a smirk on his face.

"How did... It's never been..." I shook my head, too dazed to formulate an actual sentence.

"It's the bond," he answered easily. "I should have warned you that the _euphoria_ can take over rather quickly, based on what I've read." He slipped his hands from my back to my hips where he squeezed my flesh gently. "But I couldn't wait to see that look on your face," he admitted in a whisper.

He released my hips, his long fingers toying with the hem of my shirt. Despite my begging to have his hands on me earlier, Edward still looked at me, questioning. I wanted to laugh, but the sound died in my throat when I thought of what he'd inevitably see.

"Edward, I have a lot of scars." I closed my eyes, too ashamed to show him the proof that other men had shared my body. Everything in me wanted to be his. I could feel it, and I couldn't stand knowing that I couldn't be _completely_ and only his.

"Bella." I could feel him shifting. Leaving, possibly. "Please, open your eyes."

I found him sitting up, straddling my legs. His hands moved to my waist and he quickly pulled me up so we sat facing each other.

"Earlier, when Aro asked me to move my hand, I grew angry with him. I knew the longer I touched you, the closer you would grow to, well..." He looked down, like he was shy all of a sudden. "I knew by that point that you'd unknowingly chosen me. And he knew the same. But you didn't." He shook his head. "I was upset with him because there were things you didn't know. No one has taught you what it means to be a Siren, what to expect. And now, I'm making the same mistake."

He took my hand in his, tugging my arm between us. He stared down at my forearm and traced a particularly deep scar. I remembered receiving it, vividly. It was the first time I tried to deny James.

"Do you trust me?" Edward asked.

I looked at him, and without consideration, I nodded slowly.

"You trust that I won't hurt you?"

"I... I _hope_ that you won't."

"Trust me, Bella."

"Yes. Okay. I mean, I do," I said quickly, trying my best to quiet the doubts in my mind. Once upon a time, Jasper had asked the same of me.

He lifted my arm up and pressed his lips gently against the scar. It was sweet if not a little morbid. I was mesmerized at first, until he parted his lips. I watched in horror as he pulled his lips back, baring his teeth.

"No, no, _please_! Don't, _don't_," I cried incoherently, babbling and whipping my head back and forth. I was shaking uncontrollably in anticipation of the pain but I _knew_ not to fight back. It was always worse when I fought back and so I kept my body as still as I could, trying to hold back the heaving I felt in my chest.

There was another sob, a deeper one. Edward was frozen above my flesh, heaving with a mournful groan, like he felt the same terror I did. I prayed it was enough to make him stop and pull away... but then he bit down.

His teeth slid into my skin easily with no sound, not like the screeching metallic sound I heard when James bit me. And there was no stinging. And no burning.

"Oh!" I breathed. "_Oh_!" There was a burning, but not a painful one. It was just like when he touched me, but there was no careful crescendo this time. No build-up. Just a fountain of complete and utter pleasure.

I stared half-lidded as Edward drew away from the wound and ran his tongue over it. My back arched and I nearly screamed when yet another shocking wave of heat spread through me. When I opened my eyes, I looked back to my arm. I didn't care how deep my new scar was. It was worth it. But there was no scar.

I twisted my arm in each and every way. I knew where it was, where it had _been_. But my forearm was now entirely smooth and unblemished.

"You- How did you do that?"

He smiled. "It's the bond," he said again. "When you are wounded, my venom will heal you. And vice versa. It's the strongest protection we have."

I nodded slowly, carefully. He made a physical scar disappear, but the truth still remained. He could patch me up, but I'd still been broken and taken before him.

"Bella, look at me." He reached out, lightly grazing the scars on my neck with his fingertips. "What your sire did to you was wrong. He manipulated you, purposefully kept you weak, and took advantage of that. I can't say that the male who saved you knew what you are, but in a large coven, there is no possible way that all of them could be so ignorant.

"You said that they adamantly wanted you to stay with him. I think, perhaps, that was because they knew what you are. For them not to tell you is also a great abuse. Had you known that being without a mate and unprotected would put you in such danger, would you have left?"

"If I knew something like what happened with James could have happened again... Then, no."

"I need you to understand this Bella, understand and _believe_ me when I say this. You have no reason to be ashamed. I adore you completely, already. Your body could be covered in scars left by other males and I would still feel this sadness that you suffered so greatly, but I would still love and respect you the same way I would if you bore no scars at all."

More bloody tears slipped down my cheeks then, because I _did_ believe him. He leaned forward and kissed my cheeks, one after the other. I felt his tongue sneaking out to taste my blood. He pulled back and the sad smile was replaced by that smirk again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I was going to do. I knew the anticipation of the bite would be horrible, but as before, I knew it would bring you great pleasure. I thought it might be a nice surprise."

"It was," I said with a small nod. "I was afraid I'd have a deeper scar... and a sick part of me didn't mind... If that clarifies what it felt like at all," I admitted.

"I see," Edward murmured. "I also see you have quite a number of scars on your neck." Before, I might have been embarrassed or ashamed to hear him point them out. But I could see the way he eyed my throat and when he tugged me impossibly closer, I felt the hardness of his desire for me. I watched him breathe in my scent, and I _felt_ the purring that vibrated through his chest.

He leaned into my neck and pressed against my chest, gently pushing me back down. I moved with him easily, eager for his weight on me again. I shifted my legs, wrapping them around him. I wanted every inch of my body to be covered with his.

I never felt his teeth. There was no pain. I only knew when he bit because bite brought with it yet another peak. In minutes, I was left a writhing, trembling mess.

"Bella," Edward whispered against my skin. "I will find each and every last scar on your beautiful body... with your permission."

He lifted himself onto one arm, toying with the hem of my shirt with the other.

Dazed, I nodded. Though I didn't know how much more I could take. My body actually felt impossibly _tired_. "First I... I want to ask you something."

"Anything."

I pressed a hand against his chest, wordlessly asking him to sit back which he did immediately. I sat up and eyed his face, then his neck, followed by his arms. "Do you have any scars?"

He swallowed and nodded. I hadn't seen any, so I reached forward and unbuttoned his shirt. After the first two buttons, I found a scar at the base of his throat. Further along was another scar on his shoulder. I kept going until the shirt was completely undone and I pushed it away from him.

"My venom will heal you?" I asked.

"Yes."

"And... it won't hurt you?"

"I'll feel the same as you did."

I pressed my forehead against his chest to hide the glee on my face at that. I was positively ecstatic that I could make him feel that way, too. Without hesitation, I moved my lips up his chest to the scar at the base of his throat. I kissed the scar and inhaled his scent before going against my nurtured instincts. For once, I relied on my natural instincts, and I bit.

He gasped and I immediately regretted the decision, terrified I'd hurt him. But his fingers grasped at that back of my head, burying into my hair and holding me close to him.

I'd bitten a vampire exactly once before. James. He'd always said I needed to just accept my fate, but I couldn't. I knew nothing of being a Siren but even as a newborn, I knew I didn't want James. I spent a good number of years fighting against him. I only bit back once, and my punishment that day had broken me.

This was nothing like biting James. Edward's marble flesh somehow yielded easily to my teeth, and rather than fill my mouth with a piece of his chest, my mouth was filled nearly instantly with his venom. I swallowed too quickly, regretting the instinct immediately because the taste of his venom was indescribable. Greater than any blood I'd ever tasted, stronger than the notes of his scent I'd tasted on my tongue.

He was moving against me, his hips pushing and pulling back rapidly. I tried to pull my head back but his fingers in my hair held me to him. The corners of my mouth twisted when I realized he enjoyed my bite the way I enjoyed his. Unable to pull back entirely, I closed my lips over the wound and flattened my tongue against his flesh, using my venom to close the wound as he'd done for me. His deep growl lightened slowly into a quiet purr and his grip loosened enough that I could look up at him.

His eyes were burning, looking down at me. I met his stare for a brief second before we both looked to the spotless flesh that previously bore a scar.

"Bella." He whispered my name, and before he could say another word, I scrambled up on to my knees and ducked my head, biting quickly into the scar on his shoulder.

"Christ, Bella!" he swore, his arms wrapping tight around me. I scooted forward on my knees, straddling his lap until I was hovering over him. I pressed down, grinding my hips into him. He buckled wildly up against me as I sealed the new wound and before I could move away, he pushed forward, using all of his weight to press me back down to the bed.

My shirt was gone in less than a second, torn to shreds around us. His eyes focused immediately on the scar at the top of my left breast. Glancing back up at me briefly, he leaned toward my chest with a grin.

He teased me at first, trailing his nose along the swell of my breast, his tongue peeking out to trace a circle around my nipple. I hissed, my back arching up against him. "Please," I begged.

I was completely unaware of everything when he finally bit into the scar. I knew, by the constant stream of burning pleasure, that he kept my flesh between his teeth much longer than necessary. I couldn't find it me to care if chose to bite me for all of eternity.

When he finally lifted his head from my heaving and now unmarred breast, I watched through a heavy gaze as he slithered further down my body. Somehow, while I was drowning in pleasure, he'd managed to remove my torn and dingy jeans. A spike of unadulterated anticipation tingled down my spine when I thought of the only scar left on my body.

It was a completely foreign feeling to me; the lack of shame I felt in that moment. There was no fear, no embarrassment... Only a blinding, burning, and entirely consuming need for _him_.

I heard his growl and knew immediately when he discovered the mark. His eyes shot up to mine while he breathed in deeply, the darkness of them growing while he took in the scent of my arousal.

"You smell delicious," he murmured against me. He parted my knees, slithering one hand up my right thigh and stretching his arm across my hips to press me down against the bed. He kissed the scar on the inside of my thigh almost reverently. I'd never felt so worshiped, so _loved_, as I did in that moment. I watched, hypnotized, until he bit down.

Distantly, I heard his name, cried out in my own voice among a litany of curses. My fingers dug for purchase into the bed and pillows when I felt his tongue, sealing the wound. I expected relief then, but much to my confusion, the pleasure didn't end.

I managed to force my eyes open and crane my neck, despite my back arching clean off the bed. What I saw nearly destroyed me, in the most delicious of ways. All I could take in was the tousled bronze hair, buried between my legs. His strong hands gripped my thighs, holding me open to his wicked mouth.

I slammed my head back into the pillow and a puff of feathers blew up around me. I shifted, trying to push myself against his lips and pull away simultaneously.

"God, Edward... Please, please, please," I begged over and over again. The peaks and falls came so quickly. I was a growling, hissing mess and the inhibition of giving into the primal instincts I was born with made me feel something I'd never felt before: _free_.

When he finally stopped, much too soon or too late – I couldn't decide, he slid up my body with that smirk I was beginning to love. His lips and chin glistened with my venom and I slid a hand into his hair, pulling and tugging his mouth to mine. The mixed tastes, his venom and my own, drove me insane.

"It's not even close to being over, love," he whispered against my lips. He pushed his hips against mine carefully, the tip of his hard member teasing me.

"Please," he said. "I need to know, without a doubt, that you want this."

I froze, dumbfounded into silence. Despite what I believed to be obvious, he still, _still_ wanted my explicit permission. The instinctual attraction, the bond, my desperation for him... He still needed to hear it.

"Yes. _God_, yes. I want this Edward." I panted, inhaling quickly in a maddening race to consume his scent over and over again. "I want _you_."

He kissed me fiercely, driving his hips forward and pushing into my body.

The sudden wholeness – completeness – was worth more than anything in this world. I'd burn for weeks, years, an _eternity_ to make sure I could feel it again. I'd suffer Jame's torture and Jasper breaking my heart again and again if I knew it would bring me here, to this man.

We moved against each other, _with_ each other, over and over. We swallowed each others cries, desperate to consume one another entirely. There was no blood lust, no scorching thirst, only myself and Edward.

"Too much!" I cried, gripping his shoulders. He grabbed at my legs, hoisting them around his waist to drive into me deeper and faster than before.

"Not... enough," he grunted. "C'mon love," he urged, pressing his fingers to the bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs. "Once more, Bella. Please," he begged.

"Can't... I ca- Ungh! Oh, God... Edward, what are you doing to me?" I whimpered. His fingers moved in quick, tight circles while he pleaded with me to come once more. I could deny him nothing.

I cried out, my entire body tightening into a rigid arch against him. Vaguely, I heard his loud roar in my ringing ears. I clung to him, mumbling incoherently until he laid me back down, gifting me once again with the weight of his body. A strange sense of tranquility forced my eyes shut.

I distantly heard Edward humming, his deep baritone voice soothing my already peaceful state even more.

"It's okay, sweet girl," he whispered. "I'm here." It was the last thing I heard as the world disappeared around me.


End file.
